Just chillaxing.

Hi there

This week I've literally done nothing but read Lily and James Fanfic and listen to songs by Alex Goot and +againstthecurrentNY  who are possibly the best artists ever! And if you want to check out the post about fanfic that I wrote on
my other blog (I know right, shocker, I have another blog) it's right here... 'Fanfiction'. BTW I'm currently reading one called "I'll be there for you" turns out authors don't like finishing their stories hence my abrupt end to reading "Commentarius", but I'm fine, seriously I'm over it.... Finally.

So guess what... +Shambavi Vaidiyanathan  came to visit so we had 2 reunions, one in school and one at a friend's house. Both involving two of my BFFs! I had a lot of fun, turns out catching up with friends is fun. Plus I was relieved from sitting in the library all day long... ALONE. But as usual I'm back to sitting all day in the library doing nothing but wasting my time on the internet when I have a lengthy assignment to complete, but hey I'll do it sooner or later, mostly the latter's gonna win.

Now, when I'm bored I tend to think... But not just about anything. I think about life, it's meaning, worth and almost everything about it (in relation to Harry Potter, of course). No wonder my mom calls me an old soul. Anywho this week, more specifically yesterday I realised that when you're little you're in this bubble of positivity created by your family and well-wishers but as you grow older the bubble just begins to seem more unstable by the day. At first you see life as an amazing opportunity, and I'm not saying that it isn't because believe me it is, but as you grow older you realise and begin to see the cruelty in the world that overpowers the good (whatever they are, as in the good and bad). And I know that I'm an optimist but that doesn't mean that I don't see the negativity or that I see it and push it aside, no being an optimist means, at least to me, that even though there is negativity you must acknowledge it and still believe in positivity going about your day to day life trying to see it even in the darkest times and spreading it as much as possible. You're allowed to feel bad but you always need to get back up and try to make everything just a little bit better. Look at Harry Potter, the series starts off with Harry being protected by his professors, friends and even the Dursleys to some extent, he's surrounded by happiness and love even if it's just a little it's still there and there's no denying it. But towards to 5th book this bubble starts to become unstable, Dumbledore becomes weaker and passes, Hogwarts is no longer safe, there are Death eaters inside the walls but Harry still fights even when times are dark and he feels like giving up, he begins radiating positivity because of all that he's been given and faced, he realises what life is he accepts the bitter truth and moves on. So I guess what I'm trying to say is- 

1. What if the bubble was always unstable and we just believe it's there anyway because we don't want to see the world for what it is and when the truth finally sets in we realise we're all alone but we need to accept it make a new more realistic bubble which is filled with positivity and the truth. At the end of the day we just need to surround ourselves with the others who are also alone.
2. Even though there is bad around us we need to be good to balance it out because everything is neutral right? But we can't just live in a state of ignorance our entire lives so I believe that what really matters is knowing yourself and that's when you can truly be happy, and isn't that what everybody wants.
3. Finally, it's happiness that matters... nothing else. But you can't be happy at the expense of others and more importantly you. And that's where you need to be smart. Because true happiness comes when you're happy with yourself physically and mentally. You need to change according to what you see yourself as and what you want to see yourself as. And I'm no master at how to be happy, I too have a lot of moments where I cry.. just cry but I also know when to stop and start to change what made me cry. I know when to feel, when to react and most importantly to when to let go and just move on. And I'll never reach a point where I'm completely happy with me but that's part of the fun, you always have to keep on changing to make your future you better than the past you so you're basically always in competition with your past self. When you realise this that's when you'll feel good to be you and that's when NOBODY not even you can bring yourself down. I know that it seems hard but that only lasts till you let it. It's you who determines what your life is, no one else, so stop passing the blame on and embrace the change, unless you're happy with yourself and for that kudos to you!

Sorry for being corny but hopefully someone takes the learning and they benefit from it... Bye and talk (or write) to you later.

Luv,

Muskan.