Just frustrated.

Hi there.

How are you and wassup?
Last week I launched 'project:CUML' and then,
school restarted. So I was having a lot of fun and, you know, just hanging out with my friends. Then we had a student meeting where we spoke about soul searching, and we all were supposed to do some for ourselves and just think about us, and I was just thinking how I'm already doing that and I got really frustrated because thinking over yourself and improving is one thing and losing yourself is another. I have unfortunately done the latter... I've been really confused and scared after realising that you are alone, you can share your feelings, thoughts and experiences with others and have their support but they can never completely understand and solve your problems for you. People can't help you find yourself and figure out what you want, so I have to do that myself but, like I said, I'm confused and terrified and angry with myself to have lost myself in the first place. Yesterday, I tried explaining this to my best friend but I got really upset with myself, then I went swimming to relieve my stress and that, at least, worked miracles! But this morning, in the bus I just got stressed out again, only this time I was angry, and by the time I got to class I was fuming, literally. Meditating didn't help at all, so I did the next best thing I punched, hit, kicked and banged the wall and floor, this helped but now I'm bruised. Thankfully we had another meeting and I calmed down so now I have an 'appointment' tomorrow with our director to get guided to finding me and then hopefully project:CUML continues smoothly because one obstacle will not stop me. I've also decided to make a list of all the things that make me happy, from big to small, cuz at least then I'll be happier.
Anywho, have you heard 'Me & the Rhythm' by Selena Gomez, 'Hello' by Adele, all ATC songs and 'Perfect' by 1D... If not then go do it and Bye and TTLY.

Luv,
Muskan.

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